English

The clip below came to mind this morning, when I was on my way to my English speaking test for my immigration application this morning. I was telling myself, having consulted the marking schemes/notes 'speak slowly, pronounce words properly'. Helloooooooooooo.

So after a weekend of testing, did I accomplish or learn anything? Essentially, no. I got at least 38/40 on the listening test, the last couple of answers coming very quickly in a monologue. I got each and every reading answer right, in half the allotted time. I managed to fill the answer book with a 150 word letter and a 250 word essay in the writing test. Hopefully I don't get marked down for going on at length. And then in the speaking test, I was out in barely over 10 minutes, in comparison to the maximum twenty for the Mexican and Filipino gentlemen that went in before I did. You know something is pretty pointless when the examiner can barely keep a straight face when I answer questions like 'what is your name?' and 'where are you from; and tell me about it'. I think she gave up in the end, but not before I treated her to a brief whinge about Bradford Council, and relating a story about a school teacher's favourite remark of 'did you draw that with a lump of coal?'. Oh, and a whinge about a school art teacher that was 16 years in fermentation.

I'd estimate about a third of the 100 people there were British, all chuntering away about what a pointless waste of time it was, and most revelling in having done no preparation at all. I suspect most people were dischuffed at having to be up early on a Saturday morning (I was up at 6:30 both days). I had to fill a couple in in the line behind me as to what was going to happen. "You mean you actually looked all this up?" Yes, seeing as I wasn't going to be complacent about anything; I've learnt from bitter experience about how this whole business bites you on the arse when you least expect it.

So all that remains: take the photocopies of my passport/birth certificate/work permit/degree certificates/etc and get them notarised, and withdraw the money for the first part of the application.  The forms have been filled in for 3 months. The one worry is that I have had to get my degree certificates mailed to me in order to get the copies - already signed as authentic by the University - notarised as well. I am trying to leave nothing to chance, even though it probably means yet more expense. I will not have CIC send them back to me for the sake of vaguely worded guidance notes. The thought of Canada Post scuppering the thing yet again terrifies me, and so the certificates are being sent by tracked mail. People of Britain: don't let me ever hear you, ever, complaining about Royal Mail. You don't know how good you have it. Fingers and everything else crossed that said documents get here in one piece.

At Last!

It's funny that after all these years of working in academia, and publishing so many papers that are pretty good but not earth shattering, that I finally get a paper in a big journal with large readership after making the decision to bail out on academia.

If this happened four or five years ago, I'm sure that maybe I might have got an interview or two. As it is, I just have to settle back and bask in the reflected success; I have done very little to contribute bar the odd experiment and provide a critique of the completed manuscript; a friend did the majority of the work and wrote the thing. The system concerned is my baby though, and it's nice to see it turned out all right! Check out article number 20 on the left. One word can make such a difference on a publication list. The difference between 'J. Am. Chem. Soc., submitted' and 'J. Am. Chem. Soc., accepted' is vast. A nice end to a hectic, stressful week.

Tests

It's now roughly 24 hours till the first three of my English tests for permanent residence are now complete. I feel reasonably confident that having sat a couple of the practice listening/reading tests at home on the internet, I'll do fine at those. I think it a bit mean that to get in the top band of '9', you have to score 40/40 on each.

I am slightly more worried about the writing test, and have spent most of the last two days reading/brushing up on grammar, sentence construction and something called 'grammatical range'. I should have paid more attention in English classes, I think. I am just going to have to go in there and have the mindset of pretending I am writing a journal article to be published. Fancy vocabulary ahoy!

Hot

I'm back north of the border after a quick trip south for my trip to the NFL. It was a great day out, but incredibly hot; during the game the temperature pushed 96F (35.5C) and despite liberal application of suncream I'm rather pink in parts. Such extreme conditions meant liquid intake was strictly limited to pop and water. Getting all sensible in near middle-age. It was otherwise very noisy, but not surprising when 73,000 football nuts gather together in one place. Here are a couple of photos to be going on with till I can work out how on earth to make a photo gallery. Or those of you without facebook could get yourself on there and see them all. ;-)

Lost Treasure

A lost heirloom found on YouTube tonight: the 1999 tour of Ben Folds Five to Japan, promoting their third album The Unauthorised Biography of Reinhold Messner. It had appeared on a fan channel before, but had sadly been taken down. Here they are at the peak of their powers, which is odd considering the very same third album essentially finished them - amicably it must be said - as a band.

I'd been listening to it a fair bit this week on the walk to and from work; it's a 'sad' or 'depressed' mood music, and I'd begun to worry a bit about applying for visitor status after my work permit expires, after reading multiple confusing documents on the CIC website. The immigration saga continues to drag interminably. Having spent a good couple of hours reading, I'm feeling a little more optimistic now. So here's the very oddly incongruous - in the context of the rest of the album - Army, dealing with the choices and trials of life.

The line at 2:54 is not the original ;-). The rest of the concert can be seen here; for some odd reason the songs are listed in reverse order in 'uploads' so start at the bottom! Watch it before lawyers have it taken down again!!

Friday Musing

It really doesn't seem like I had a holiday at all; two weeks of being back at work and it's a real effort again. I remember my Ph.D. supervisor all those years ago once saying words to the effect of 'enjoy what you do, and give it 100%. If you're not doing so, think about things'. Wise words I think. Fortunately, in a way, things are now probably taking a different direction and taking me away from previous plans. My work permit has six months less three days to go, and following a conversation with my boss, my contract won't be renewed. It's entirely amicable; the company sponsoring our work want to renew for a couple of years and he wants to use that two years on one person, not 6 months on an extension for me and 18 months for someone else. I understand that and am fine with it.

I broached the extension subject with him last week because as it stands, my work permit will expire long before my permanent residence application is processed. I figure my English test results will arrive the first week in October. So if I got the application out the same day, I'd have effectively five months of working time left. My work permit is for the university only, and so I'd have to try and find a job willing to spend the time and money to find me another one. My main problem is I'm not a permanent resident yet, and most jobs are advertised as 'Canadian citizens and permanent residents will be given priority'. Still, I can't let that get in the way, so I've now tarted up my CV and I've seen a job or two I'll apply for. I have no experience of the oil and gas industry, but my job and training is such that I pick things up quickly out of necessity. I'll sign on to a couple of recruitment consultants as well. I think a new direction like oil/gas research (drilling fluids and so on) would be quite interesting. The thought of ending up as 'mud engineer' is a funny one.

If a new job doesn't turn up by Christmas, I'll have to apply to remain as a visitor afterwards (proof of funds to live on isn't a problem) given the current processing times are two months. That's all very well except that I can't work while a visitor and the residence application might take another three or four months. So in anticipation of not being able to work, I've begun, like most of the UK, 'austerity measures' in an attempt to hoard some cash. That, and a ridiculous run of very necessary things in the last three or four months had maxed out one credit card, and made a dent in the one across the water as well.

So I've told myself I'm not allowed to buy anything that isn't food (or the odd night out) once a week. No more buying lunch; it'll be made instead. No more DVDs. No more iTunes. No more clothes /shoes shopping. On the lunch front, I've bought and eaten more fruit in the last week than I probably have done in the last two years. Odd to have the 'wow, it's cheap, and I feel better' epiphany after all these years. My inner Yorkshireman is appalled at how much I have spent on lunch in the last two years!

Friday Music

So after a long winded sort of a week, where not much got done except endless annoying corrections to a journal manuscript, here's a bit of musical Canadiana I unwound to this evening. I managed to miss all but the last two songs in the encore when it was broadcast over the internet a month ago. Here it is from the top. It wins the internet. If you've got a spare 94 minutes, plump up a cushion and enjoy*. It makes me really regret that I can't play any musical instruments, when each of them can play each other's, but then music and drama were the two subjects at school I disliked more than any other.

For maximum aural pleasure, I suggest a proper set of speakers, or some good headphones. YouTube have set the volume too low I think.

* Some occasional naughty language between songs. The chorus of one song about halfway through shouldn't be taken literally (it's metaphorical (or is it allegorical? I never remember); I take it to mean Bush-era neo-Conservatism). Also, you will need a computer from the 21st century, so that it can keep up. You know who you are!