I'm Still Here

I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this little bit of the interwebs? Maybe I had, I've been very busy with work of late through trying to steer the listing ship that is my project through the icebergs. Hopefully, I am somewhere near to doing that. So stay tuned!

EDIT (January 4th): So it was a bit longer than that. But off we go again

Do Not Pass Go..

..do not collect $200, go directly to winter. It's an often repeated joke in Calgary, "there are two seasons here: winter, and road reconstruction". On September 16th, we had an all-time September record high temperature of +33C. There then followed a week in the low-to-mid twenties. Then about 10 days of 'seasonal' weather (a nebulous term in these parts). And then ten days ago we went straight into winter. Daytime highs below zero, negative double digits at night, and repeated threats of snow. Having to wear full winter regalia for the five minute walk to work, that sort of thing. And here's the scene on Wednesday morning after 24 hours of steady snowfall:It's back to 'seasonal' now and the snow is largely melted, but it's going to be a long, long winter if we consider it could be May before it finally stops. An occupational hazard of living here, I suppose.

A Taste of Yorkshire

Quite a few months ago, when I went to Kelowna for the long weekend to talk inorganic chemistry all weekend, I ended up meeting a fellow Yorkshireman who is working in Vancouver at UBC. He'd done some really really nice work in uranium chemistry during his Ph.D. in Sussex, and once upon a time I was going to be following on his work when I had a job lined up in the same lab in Brighton. That fell through, and as a result, I'm here.

I was introduced to him by someone in another discussion group (we were split up from our Calgary colleagues) much later that evening after drinks. Very late in the evening actually, as said group from UBC were busy doing some impromptu landscape gardening. To cut a long story short, he bemoaned - as did I - the little things from the UK he can't get hold of: proper bacon, (also my pet moan) and Yorkshire Tea. "Can't find it anywhere". I remarked that he should have moved to Calgary, given that we have a "british shop" in the nearest large mall to me. There may have been some scheme hatched for me to send tea to him, but I can't remember due to beer intake and he was three sheets to the wind and probably couldn't either.

Two weeks ago, I am walking through said shopping mall on Saturday afternoon, having resolved to make the most of the nice day while we still had them. I decide to pop in to "Good Taste of Britain", and there we are, on the shelf, between the marmite and the bottles of Irn Bru are boxes and boxes of Yorkshire Tea.
I have warned people off going in there when they come to visit, given the prices. I am still from Yorkshire, after all. Yet I ignored my own advice and bought the box you see above, for $12. At present exchange rates, that's about four times what it's worth. Maybe my Yorkshire-ness is slipping. (!) But now I have to drink lots more tea. Which is not a bad thing when it's cold outside, I suppose.

Happiness Is..

...chasing Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo out of a Flames-Canucks game by the second intermission. This was the Flames' most convincing performance of the fledgling season by far, and a 5-0 lead by 40 minutes could and should have been larger but for the goalposts. Sadly, they couldn't add any further scoring, and the last 10 minutes saw the officials take pity on Vancouver, rewarding them with a string of soft penalties. Three goals duly followed, making everyone twitchy, given what happened on Monday night (see below), but Canucks forward Alex Burrows did the decent thing by getting sent to the penalty box inside the last two minutes.

(How I haven't got to a nearly a year of this blog without mentioning Burrows I'm not sure. Think of the most annoying, irritating sportsman you can. And then multiply that by a thousand. The sort of player that dives repeatedly, and is the classy sort of guy that knocks out the front teeth of amateur Quebec goalies with his stick in the offseason. Oh, and he pulls hair in fights, like a girl. That an act of selfishness on his part torpedoed any hopes of a comeback makes me warm and happy inside).

Yet another game in which the Flames fourth line dominated. There was a little bit of scoffing when they signed Brian McGrattan as the 'enforcer' in the summer, but he had the last laugh tonight, destroying Darcy Hordichuk in a fight, before bagging both an assist and a goal. Two points each for Dustin Boyd and Brandon Prust.

So to Monday then. I'd ordered the Flames game at Chicago on Pay Per View. It was a holiday and nothing was on. I paid through the handset and saw the first four minutes. Then nothing. I put on the radio while trying to get through on the telephone. This happened:
Five goals in five-and-a-half minutes. I gave up on hold on the phone and left a cross email on the TV company's website. The picture came back, and within a minute, Chicago pulled one back. Jokinen missed a 1-on-1 in the closing seconds, but it didn't matter, leading 5-1 after 20 minutes? Game over? The Flames certainly seemed to think so, and coasted through the second period. And then this scoring sequence came to pass:This tied the league record for biggest defeat overturned in a single match. The only consolation in the end -aside from points galore for my hockey pool teams - was that my angry email resulted in me getting the game for free.

Progress?

So the inevitable happened. In what was called a 'landmark decision' - presumably because a landmark is being demolished - the planning committee of Bradford Council voted by a 5-2 margin to demolish the former New Victoria/Gaumont/Odeon building. So, coming very soon, despite many hundreds of objections, there is to be yet another hole in the ground in the city centre. That the opportunity to have a medium sized concert hall that could be adapted to many community uses should be completely overlooked by Bradford Council should serve as no surprise; City Hall is about the last place in the known universe where you'd find any joined up thinking. Or anyone with a brain, really.

The thing that really winds me up is not the Council but our (though given I've not lived there in more than six years, the term 'our' seems a bit odd) local evening 'newspaper'. It has, from day one, been a servile cheerleader for Bradford Centre Regeneration, a quango not elected by you, the Bradford voter. The demolition of the Odeon building was explicitly not included in the Council's Urban Development plan, but is/was the brainchild of Yorkshire Forward and BCR. One of the various 'steering groups' in all of this was in regard to the concept of a concert hall in the City Centre. St. George's Hall is not the biggest venue, and so there were two obvious sites; renovate the Odeon or extend St George's.

Now here's the interesting bit. One floated idea to improve capacity is to extend St George's Hall by demolishing the Telegraph and Argus 'newspaper' building behind it. Therefore it's likely the owners of the T&A would profit handsomely for having to move. So who sat on both the board of BCR, and was also present as a member of the concert hall steering group? Yes, your very own T&A editor, Perry Austin-Clarke, apparently not at all of the notion that it's a conflict of interest in writing editorials demanding the demolition of the 'dilapidated' building, while his paymasters could potentially profit handsomely from policy shaped by committees that he himself sat on. The stream of negative stories in the build up to this week's decision is like having their cake and eating it.

It's a sad state of affairs that it's the Leeds based Yorkshire Post that is the only source of non 'spun' stories on the regeneration of Bradford. But I'll gladly give the T&A a bit of free advice. If they need a site for a new building, there's one just up the road, here. You know, that one that they have just as obsequiously cheered for, and haven't written one remotely critical piece on. Ever. Despite it now being five years since demolition. A bit of free advice to T&A readers: think about cancelling this third rate rag.

Once More Into The Breach

It's time for hopeless sporting predictions again, of an NHL variety. The season is a little over a week away and I'll doubtless be spending the weekend perusing hockey pool guides in advance of a couple of drafts in the early part of next week.

Western Conference:
1. San Jose Sharks
2. Chicago Blackhawks
3. Calgary Flames
4. Detroit Red Wings
5. Vancouver Canucks
6. Anaheim Ducks
7. Columbus Blue Jackets
8. Los Angeles Kings
9. Dallas Stars
10. St. Louis Blues
11. Edmonton Oilers
12. Minnesota Wild
13. Nashville Predators
14. Colorado Avalanche
15. Phoenix Coyotes (provided they haven't been contracted or gone bust by then)

Eastern Conference:
1. Pittsburgh Penguins
2. Washington Capitals
3. Boston Bruins
4. New Jersey Devils
5. Philadelphia Flyers
6. Montreal Canadiens
7. Carolina Hurricanes
8. Ottawa Senators
9. Toronto Maple Leafs
10. New York Rangers
11. Tampa Bay Lightning
12. Buffalo Sabres
13. Florida Panthers
14. New York Islanders
15. Atlanta Thrashers

I'll elaborate my thinking another night in an edit, but it's getting too late for that right now. Let the controversy rage!

Hockey Multiple Choice

You are the Calgary Flames. You have turned a 3-0 deficit after 30 minutes to the Canucks into a 4-3 lead. You have just seen a Canucks equaliser (wrongly) called off with ten seconds left.,due to running round like headless chickens. Because of a melee afterwards, the faceoff is at neutral ice. Do you:

a) win the faceoff, work it down the ice, and win the game?
b) lose the faceoff, and run around like headless chickens in your own end for the second time in 10 seconds?
c) not pick up Daniel Sedin about five feet from the net
d) have a goalie who couldn't shut his five-hole if his life depended on it, even if the shot was completely mishit?
e) all of b), c) and d) above?

I know it's only a friendly, but I'm annoyed. Conceding a goal with 0.2 seconds to go will do that to you. For the first 30 minutes tonight the Flames were atrocious, to the degree that you wondered if it was some sort of drill to see if they could dig themselves out of a hole afterwards. That they did is testament to the skilled players playing tonight; Jokinen and Bouwmeester were great in the final period. If it was not a drill, several players played themselves into the AHL or press box tonight. Backlund is clearly not ready, he was virtually invisible and the less said about the game losing non-shot in the shootout the better. Pardy had a stinker for the third night in a row. Anton Stralman now clearly has the #6 defender position in his place. But the real concern is in goal. Kiprusoff has been shaky in his two games, and tonight Curtis McElhinney was, when it mattered, terrible. I stick up for him, but tonight was not his night. Three soft goals and a laughable poke-check in the shootout. Can you tell I don't like losing to V*******r?

Flames were: (F) Bourque-Jokinen-Dawes; Glencross-Langkow-Fleury; Sjostrom-Lundmark-Sutter; Nystrom-Backlund-Prust; (D) Regehr-Bouwmeester; Sarich-Giordano; Pardy-Kronwall; (G) McElhinney.

It's Back!

Hockey is back! After a wait of five months - always a longer wait when your team is knocked out in the first round of the playoffs yet again - tonight is the first warm up game, against Edmonton. Looking at the two lineups, the Oilers have much more experience, but haven't shown it all that much against what is largely the Flames' AHL team. They line up:

Dawes-Boyd-Moss
Greentree-Lundmark-Chucko
Nystrom-Murray-Cunning
Stuart-Prust-Jaffray

Pardy-Pelech
Kronwall-Stralman
Negrin-Palin

Keetley

1st period: Flames dominate early, but a super-weak goal from Patrick O'Sullivan gives Edmonton the lead through Keetley's legs. Lots of evidence of the new coach; each Edmonton rush sees all five Flames skaters in pursuit, rather than the floating of the usual suspects last season. On the debit side, Brandon Prust continues to be a useless fighter. He might have a heart the size of a house, but I don't think I've seen him beat anyone.

2nd period: Oilers make it 2-0 on the powerplay; another soft one. Keetley looks a little out of his depth here, and the penalty killing is all over the place. On the other hand, the Flames PP looks quite good, Stralman dictating the play from the right point. So the complete opposites of last season then. Leland Irving replaces Keetley on the 30 minute mark.

3rd period: A bit of a non event for ten minutes, but the Flames finally got the powerplay goal at the seventh attempt, as Jason Jaffray scored from Lundmark's long pass on a breakaway. The comeback doesn't last long as Tom Gilbert made it 3-1 on a four minute powerplay for a high stick, before Shaun Horcoff got the empty netter with 30 seconds to go.

All in all, an encouraging effort from the baby Flames; the scoreline was a hugely flattering to Edmonton. You can see a plan of how the Flames intend to play and so let's hope that when the big guns are put in the team they buy into the same system.

Football, Football, Football

But not of the round-balled variety. This weekend has largely been spent watching the North American version of the sport in various guises; CFL, NFL and NCAA College Football. I suppose the games started with Thursday night's NFL season opener between Tennessee and Pittsburgh. The less said about it, the better. Pittsburgh won 13-10 but are a crashingly dull side to watch; yes, they've now won 2 of the last 4 Super Bowls, but they do so based on strong defence rather than running up the score. Think of them as the George Graham era Arsenal. Not fun.

Friday night was a barbecue at the boss's house, but I got home to see the last 10 minutes of the second instalment of last weeks' CFL 'battle of Alberta' between Edmonton and Calgary. Last Monday's game was very one sided, Calgary winning 32-8. When I got home, Calgary trailed 34-21, but two late scores meant a 35-34 win. The defending Grey Cup champion Stampeders are now 6-4 and are now turning a corner after a wobbly first couple of months. I'm much more into CFL this year; having spent 20 years or more following the NFL from 'down south' I found it's Canadian counterpart somewhat disorienting with multiple rule changes. I suppose the easiest analogy is between Rugby Union and League; the CFL has 12 players rather than 11, the pitch is much larger, and so the players have more space, generally resulting in higher scoring games. There is also the very Canadian touch of 'single points'. There is some actual rule to this that I can never remember, but missed fieldgoals seem to be awarded with a point for trying.

Saturday was College Football day. The whole ranking system and Bowl games at the end of the season seems completely arcane to me, but I had remembered the fuss about them when I was in San Francisco three years ago, and so resolved to myself that I would make an effort to watch a game or two this weekend. Thanks to the numerous American TV channels I receive, I managed to catch Notre Dame University vs University of Michigan on Saturday afternoon, followed by the University of Southern California vs Ohio State University. The crowds for the two games were 103,000 and 106,000, all decked out in the teams colours, marching bands, 'battle songs' and so on. The attendances are so high because ticket prices are - due to stadia being located on the campus itself - much lower than the NFL, and stadia are largely bench seating, allowing larger crowds. In small University towns, the whole town attends.

They were both very good games; it seemed far more open than it's professional counterpart in the States. I think this is probably because the players are younger and so more inexperienced, and perhaps play with the confidence of youth rather than the cynical eye of more experienced ones. Just one thing: I can't take a team seriously that has glittery helmets (OSU have silver, glittery helmets. Just wrong). But good fun, and a better way to spend Saturday afternoon than watching Toronto FC.

And so to today. NFL day again. As a very long standing Denver Broncos watcher, this has been a prolonged offseason to forget. The Christmas sacking of two-time Super Bowl winning coach Mike Shanahan, for losing all three games down the stretch when one win would seal play-0ff qualification, was probably overdue. Denver had won just one postseason game since the last Super Bowl win in 1999, principally due to the inability to replace retired Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway who retired after Super Bowl XXXIII. A procession of would-be replacements have been and gone in the ten years since. It seemed that in Jay Cutler that such a replacement had been found. Yes, he was prone to interceptions at desperately inopportune moments, but could equally pull rabbits out of hats. At the age of 26, he could have been moulded into that franchise player if he could bring consistency to his game.

That was until he threw his toys out of the pram and demanded a trade after he instantly didn't hit it off with the new head coach, the architect of the New England Patriots 16-0 offense in 2007, Josh McDaniels. To cut a long story short, Cutler was traded to the Chicago Bears for their first round draft picks in 2009 and 2010, other lower round picks, and former Bears starter Kyle Orton. In addition, wide receiver Brandon Marshall was suspended from practice for tantrums when he wasn't traded away after the man who would supply him was dispatched for the Windy City. This lead to todays games; Denver opened in Cincinnati while Chicago travelled to Green Bay.

The former game was terrible to watch, and a lapse from Orton looked like losing Denver the game before a miracle play (or idiotic blunder from the defender, depending on your point od view) in the last 20 seconds saw wide receiver Brandon Stokley complete an 87 yard touchdown run to win the game 12-7. I then tuned in for Chicago's game this evening. To describe the first 30 minutes of Cutler's debut as inept is not being too harsh. Three interceptions in the second quarter lead t0 a 10-2 halftime deficit. He rallied the troops in the second half, but a 15-12 lead became a 20-15 deficit with 71 seconds remaining. He had won 7 game from behind in the 4th quarter for Denver, giving rise to those Elway comparisons. Could he do it again? On the first play, he was intercepted for a fourth time.

It goes to show that people should be careful what they wish for. Cutler doesn't have the quality of options that he had in Denver; the Broncos had the league's 2nd ranked offense by yardage last year. The reason the team struggled was their 29th of 32 ranked defense. From today's game, the new defense (there were 30 new players out of the 53 on duty today) did well, but Cincinnati were hopeless so it's hard to gauge how good they are. It could still be a long season, because Orton was also very poor and needs to raise things considerably. More as the season unfolds.

A Third Early Christmas Wish

Having driven from Bradford to Warwick on Sunday, and Warwick to Letchworth yesterday on pleasantly quiet roads, I drove home today via Coventry. Could the powers that be please arrange for heavy goods vehicles being banned from the outside two lanes on motorways?

(oh and if we get to have our cake and eat it, can we ban white vans/motorhomes/caravans from the outside lane while we're at it?)

The less said about the M62 this evening, the better.

Part Time Supporter

Tomorrow will most likely be the one and only football match I attend this season (unless certain job applications submitted at present pan out), when the visiting might of Torquay United come north. At one point it didn't look like I would be able to attend, but my travel arrangements for the holiday weekend have changed; I therefore get to see the only home game in the two weeks I am here after all.

Last Saturday's win at Cheltenham was very welcome; I think the clamour for the head of the manager might have grown loud enough that the board of directors could hear it had we lost last week. If they read the internet (as some of them seemingly do), some of them might have been tempted to press the 'sack' button. As it was, the 5-4 away win was notable for four new summer signings scoring the goals, as Stuart McCall very bravely decided to bench Thorne, Boulding and Brandon and go with youth and energy. The goalscorers came from Birmingham reserves, Macclesfield, Guiseley, Bamber Bridge and Rochdale (technically speaking an own goal, but Ramsden was heavily involved).

It's pleasing to see that these up-and-coming players have been given their chance, after several years of retread veterans here for one last pay day. Such has been the success of Steve Williams (a part-time barber from Bamber) and James Hanson (a Co-Op worker playing for Guiseley) that McCall has felt encouraged enough to this week sign right winger Scott Neilson from Cambridge City after some impressive trial performances. Neilson has scored 36 goals in two seasons on the wing for Ware Town and Cambridge City in the Southern League and has some impressive family lineage; he is the grandson of Spurs winger Cliff Jones who won the double in 1960-61. He had already had trials at both Norwich and Derby this summer; having been gazumped more than once this summer, McCall moved quickly to get his man.

You can't help but wonder if, had we taken this approach two years ago, might we now be higher up the leagues than we are? Peterborough adopted this strategy two seasons ago and are now in the Championship with largely the same team; granted, they had more money to spend than we did, but George Boyd, Craig Mackail-Smith and Aaron McLean went to Peterborough from Stevenage, Dagenham and Grays Athletic respectively. City haven't shopped at that level, but still look to have found some useful players. Dagenham themselves looked for a long stretch last season like they might similarly complete two rapid-fire promotions, and have once again delved into non-league this offseason to strengthen. Doncaster Rovers performed a similar feat a few years ago and are now holding their own in the Championship.

It's good that McCall finally shows signs of learning. I think nothing would please the majority of fans more than to watch a young side - with a couple of old heads - coming together and growing into a side that could stay together for a period of some years. This was, after all, the way things happened in the 1980s. I think the fans would have been far more patient over the last two years than they have been if, they could have seen that the team was a work in progress.

It's just a shame that as the manager looks like he might be starting to get things right on the field, people in power off the field seem to be getting things wrong. The much neglected (throughout the 90s) youth system is now paying its way; the recent sell-on fee for Fabian Delph testament to that. Yet for this success, a couple of recent news items make for depressing reading. The recent ban on the City Gent mascot throwing sweets to the crowd and waving his belly at the fans is a heavy-handed nonsense. Lenny attends games at his own expense, and provides a bit of colour and humour, particularly at away games.

But the real axe I have to grind is the recent decision to eschew radio commentary of home games altogether in favour of the online 'Bantams Player'. Living seven timezones away, it's inevitable that I have to pay my subscription and listen in. Last season, it was a great way to begin the weekend; up at 7.30ish, listen to the buildup, then the game. Derm Tanner of BBC Radio Leeds used to read out most emails from displaced fans (even mine!) around the world who were either listening early in the morning, late at night, or the morning of the day afterwards if you were in New Zealand. It felt like being involved, even if you were thousands of miles away. Now, home games are marked by total silence till 7.50, then a quick run through the teams and the first half. Complete silence follows at half time followed by the second half. There is no summariser, just the guy doing the commentary. It is, in every way possible, so vastly inferior to the product of the previous three seasons. The commentary on away games is not much better.

Now the club apparently value the radio rights to each game at £400. This is a significant increase in the rights according to Radio Leeds; the club counter that it is value for money and they have been in touch with Ken Bates (and his able deputy Smithers) at L***s U****d for informative insights. If that last sentence doesn't send a chill down your spine on a whole number of levels, then there's something wrong with you. The club are effectively saying that they lose £400 in revenue for each home game being on the radio. At current matchday ticket prices, that's the equivalent of twenty supporters not turning up. Of course, it goes without saying that the cost of the internet commentary is (£39.99) more than the cost of matchday admission. What percentage cut the club get I don't know, but I'm sure it's not insignificant. And what of those fans, many of them far older than me, who don't own a computer, much less know how one works? However you dress it up, it's a money making exercise, something I thought two fan-owners would be more sensitive to. This is the sort of thing someone down the M621 might try......

So the club would rather haggle over the equivalent of these twenty fans when there are probably hundreds who can't attend because they are at work and/or otherwise engaged, and thousands more casual listeners. If forty of these fans turn up at the next game because they've heard an exciting game the last time out, the club makes more money! Talk about not being able to see the wood for the trees! Radio commentary is free advertising. Lets see how attendances hold up if the team struggles because the public at large are not engaged with the club this season. I hope some sense prevails and the club and Radio Leeds get back together and come to some sort of agreement. Unfortunately, I suspect the club are (having heard two interviews on the opening day of the season from chairman and chief operating office) going to dig their heels in over this. More fool them.

A Second Early Christmas Wish

Pleeeeeease make it stop raining! I've been home seven days now and still not seen anything close to a nice day. Sod's law dictates that while I'm in Warwick on Sunday and Letchworth on Monday, it will be nice here and wet there. Checking the Calgary forecast (+27, +27, +26, +27 the next four days) doesn't brighten the mood either!

An Early Christmas Wish

Dear Santa

Please can Bradford City have a new goalkeeper? Please?

I'll be good!

Typical

Having had, in comparison to last year, a poor summer out here, isn't it just typical that on the day I return home after two months of indifferent weather it's 30 degrees outside? The weather forecast for the next two weeks looks glorious over here. The same couldn't be said of the forecast back home. When I walk out of Manchester airport at 8am tomorrow morning, I hope it's shorts weather seeing as that's what I'm wearing right now. I suspect it won't be.....

Batten Down The Hatches

One of the most repeated impressions about comparing something in North America with something back home is just how much bigger everything is, from skylines to mountains to cars and so on. This observation is even applicable to the weather it seems. At about 1:45 this morning, all of a sudden a howling gale started to blow through my apartment, much as it had on Saturday evening when it played such havoc with the Stampeders game down the road at McMahon Stadium. I knew there had been a severe thunderstorm warning earlier in the evening, but nothing had materialised before I went to bed and thought nothing more of it. I have seen thunderstorms here before that were pretty spectacular, but nothing on the scale that was to imminently follow.

As I got out of bed to close the windows to stop the wind-tunnel effect, the bedroom was illuminated by lightning, followed by a huge clap of thunder. The sound and light show which followed over the next 45 minutes was jaw dropping; hundred kilometer-an-hour winds, torrential rain, huge hailstones the size of coins and the sky illuminated for seconds at a time. A couple of times, the lightning was green! Whole neighbourhoods ended up without power and many trees were blown over. The pictures of hail damage to the largely wooden houses here show just what forces nature can summon when it feels like it. Here's a Youtube video of last night, which doesn't really do it justice (particularly from a noise point of view).



Typically, as I write this, it has started up again and I have flinched more than once during the writing of this post. Living in a 16-storey building on a day like today gives you pause for thought when the local evening newspaper shows photos of lightning strikes on apartment buildings in the city centre...!

Free Agency

And now, an entry that I've been trying to write for about two weeks now, detailing some of the moves in the NHL since players contracts expired on June 30th. The Calgary Flames moves for Jay Bouwmeester have been detailed already, but they've been stocking up on depth forwards like there's going to be a long shortage of them, or possibly a trade is in the offing. Nigel Dawes arrived from Phoenix today and his former Rangers colleague Fredrik Sjostrom arrived a week ago. They also went goon shopping in signing former Ottawa enforcer Brian McGrattan. But what of some of the other players around the league?

Mike Cammalleri
Last season's Flames top scorer signed for Montreal for $6m a year. This is more than the Flames were ever going to pay him. Yes, he scored 39 goals last season ,but he's a streaky scorer not overly physical, under six feet tall and not much use in his own end. He'll fit right in in Montreal then. Verdict: overpayment. Honourable mentions to the signings of Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez for a combined $11m a year.

Marian Gaborik
Moved from Minnesota to the New York Rangers for a mind boggling $7.5m a season. He missed a combined 99 games to injury in the 2006-7 and 2008-9 seasons. Signing someone made of glass and piano wire to that sort of contract is far too much, but Rangers GM Glen Sather has form on that front I'm afraid. Verdict: overpayment

Marian Hossa
Two years running he's been on the losing side in the Stanley Cup Final. This would appear to mark him down as something as a jinx, particularly this year where the joke went 'Hossa' is Slovak for 'invisible'. He signed a front-loaded contract which works out as a salary cap hit of $5.23m year, though this means $7.9m a year for the first 7 years (by which time he'll be 37) which I think is not bad for a player of his ability, but it causes horrible problems this time next year. Having to sign Toews, Kane and Keith to new contracts next summer means they can't possibly keep all three of them with $40m committed to 10 players (cheers Stu!); probably the reason GM Dale Tallon was fired this week. Verdict: not necessarily overpayment, but say bye bye to one of Toews or Kane this time next year.

Alex Kovalev
Moved from Montreal to Ottawa, ostensibly to replace the then departing Dany Heatley. But then Heatley refused to move to Edmonton, thus sending them over the salary cap. Replacing one lightweight floater with another is hardly likely to shake the Senators out of their post-Stanley-Cup slide. Verdict: possible overpayment, but certainly not the player they need.

Martin Havlat
Left Chicago to sign for Minnesota for $5m a year for 6 years. Played a starring role in Chicago's first two games against Calgary in the playoffs last season, and twittering darkly about the goings on in the Chicago front office. The Wild get their replacement for the departing Gaborik, at a reasonable price. Verdict: good deal.

Nikolai Khabibulin
The Russian goalie leaves Chicago for Edmonton, which is somewhat odd seeing as Dwayne Roloson did so well for them last season, though possibly being 39 years old means the powers that be think he's coming to the end of the road, refusing to offer him a 2 year deal. So, they replaced him with.....a 36 year old. Yes, he might have an awesome record against the Flames, but they must play 76 games against other sides. Just another demonstration of the joined-up thinking from the gong-show further north. Verdict: $3.75m a year is not so bad in and of itself, it's just a pointless signing.

Chris Pronger
Beloved in these parts for leaving Edmonton because his wife didn't like it there, he was traded to the Philadelphia Flyers from the Anaheim Ducks for Joffrey Lupul, Lucas Sbisa (Philly's first round draft pick last season) and a first round draft pick. Pronger is a supremely hard defenceman, but also dirty with it. He'll fit right in in Philadelphia, but the club have been fleeced here in signing a 34 year old for $7.6m a year, in addition to what they gave up. Even the far-more-talented Scott Niedermayer doesn't make $7m a year! Verdict: gross overpayment.

Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komisarek
Another Duck d-man on the move is Francois Beauchemin who missed a large portion of the season through injury, before coming back down the stretch. The Ducks' upturn in that time. was no coincidence. I wouldn't have minded seeing him here had Bouwmeester not signed. All-star (ha!) Komisarek was at Montreal last season but has decided to leave. Both players signed for Toronto, who have now (whisper it quietly) got a reasonable defence with the two players discussed, plus Luke Schenn and Tomas Kaberle. If only their forwards weren't such rubbish....Verdict: good deals!

I'll maybe add a few more as the close-season develops.

Chicken Feed

Boris Johnson is in the news again. In case you haven't heard, he described his combined London mayoral salary and News of the World column income of £390,000 as "chicken feed" Boris is rich pickings for the media with all the supposed buffoonery, and his appearances on Have I Got News For You are never less than entertaining; personally, I can't believe an old Etonian and graduate of Balliol College Oxford is that stupid and it's all a carefully crafted act.

This weekend's error is still something of a Freudian slip in that however media friendly the new, touchy feely Conservative Party appears to be, they are at best as cynical with the media that New Labour were; and at worst still the party run by the select few, for the select few. What's worse is, given their leads in the opinion polls, that the British electorate seems to be falling for it. Cynical publicity stunts like 'Dave' Cameron's cycling to work on his bike to boost his green credentials while his chaffeur drives his suitcase behind him in the car might fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of them. Have people forgotten 18 years of Conservative rule that quickly?

Pests

And here's another saga come to an end. About 2 months ago building management here at Beige Towers decreed that since someone upstairs somewhere had reported a bed-bug infestation, they would be inspecting all flats on floors 3-5. This meant moving all the furniture away from the walls and other inconveniences; nothing happened thereafter so I figured all was well.

Some weeks later a letter is shoved under my door at 9pm on a Sunday night telling me pest control will be spraying my flat on Tuesday....please remove everything from the bedroom barring mattress and bed frame, move all furniture away from walls, clear shelves etc. Fine. Here's the scene of all my clothes in suitcases in the kitchen, with the DVD tower (still alphabetically organised!), and the view in the other direction:


Four weeks after that, I got another notice asking me to, for the third time, move all the furniture for a "follow up". I thought "sod that" but after reflecting on the fact my rent is now reduced as compared to my first lease, did as I was told. For the third time there was no note or letter indicating the outcome. I put all the furniture and objets d'art that adorn suite 303 of Beige Towers back in their place for the third time. I got home on Monday night to be greeted by not one, not two, not three but FIVE letters from building management - dated June 25th!!! - asking "has the work been completed to your satisfaction?" All are exactly the same! Whether the work has been done well or not, I'm certainly not satisfied with the pointless waste of paper!

You Come Over Here, Taking Our Money...

Another saga came to an end today; my first brush with the Canadian taxman. You'll remember (or perhaps not!) my description of filling out my tax return. To cut a long story short, my electronic payment did not end up 'in the right box' in my account with Revenue Canada (their fault, not mine). About a month ago, a letter duly arrived saying "please pay up or we'll banish you to live in Yellowknife for ten years". The telephone number I was supposed to ring, was, in the style of most government institutions, permanently engaged. A call to another number ended up with me being square with the taxman. Better still, he owed me money seeing as I had overcalculated how much I should pay! The cheque arrived today. Victory!

Dont Get Mad, Get Even

Another example of how a Canadian goes about something compared to an American, or someone from Britain. Halifax musician David Carroll was travelling from Halifax to Nebraska via Chicago's O'Hare airport, along with his band, the Sons of Maxwell. On the tarmac in Chicago, they could see United Airlines ground staff throwing guitar cases into the plane; sure enough, on landing his guitar had $1200 worth of damage done to it.

After nine months of being passed from one agent to another, and United's resolute refusal to accept liability or pay for the damage, he decided to get even. The result is the video you see below. After more than 2.3 million hits on YouTube, inside a week, and the subsequent negative media exposure, United have climbed down and are now talking to him. Nicely played sir! An American would doubtless have resorted to lawsuits galore, while a British response might have been similar to the "London Underground song" (Seriously, don't google that if you're easily offended. Bad language ahoy!). Whereas the Canadian is unfailingly polite and gets the job done.

Cheer Up Brian Burke

Given today is the first day of free agency, players are moving left, right and centre in the NHL right now. I'll write later on about the winners and losers, but first an amusing tale about the Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke:

"Having flown overnight from Boston to Frankfurt, according to sources, with bold, ambitious plans to make a face-to-face offer to Henrik and Daniel Sedin today in Sweden, the Maple Leafs GM was thwarted in the final minutes before the free agent season opened when the identical Swedish twins signed new five-year deals averaging $6.1 million per season just before noon EST with the Vancouver Canucks"

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The gift that just keeps on giving. Brian Burke, I salute you!

He Did It

Following on from Saturday's entry, Calgary Flames general manager Darryl Sutter this evening landed star unrestricted free agent Jay Bouwmeester on a 5-year, $32.5 million contract. He has signed him having effectively given up the negotiating rights to UFA Jordan Leopold and a 3rd round draft pick; tomorrow he may have gone for $7-8 million a year, so in anyone's terminology, a steal. Is there a better top four defence anywhere in the NHL than Bouwmeester-Regehr-Phaneuf-Sarich?

The real demonstration the Flames have stolen a march on their rivals? The egregious quantities of utter f*cking stupid spouted on canucks.com and HF message boards about 'salary cap hits', 'lack of top six forwards' and 'cancers in the dressing room'

Darryl Sutter, I raise my metaphorical hat in your direction!

EDIT: This evening's deal in Cowtown is not the only activity in the northwest division of the NHL this evening. Want-away Ottawa forward Dany Heatley - having waived his no-trade clause - has signed for the Edmonton Oilers in exchange for Andrew Cogliano, Ladislav Smid and Dustin Penner. A 50 goal forward swapped for a promising centre not fulfilling his potential, a second/third pair defenceman and a colossal, overpaid bust. Edmonton wins this trade hands down. I'd like to smoke whatever Sens GM Bryan Murray is smoking if he thinks that's a good trade! Yikes!

And what of the Sedin sisters in V*****ver? Still no signature on the dotted line. If they were to decamp as free agents to Montreal or Toronto, then it's fair to say they are the significant losers in the musical chairs of the last couple of days. It's all very well having a top three goalie, but if your entire forward corps are made up of journeyman third liners (and the incredibly-good-value-for-money Mat$ $undin), expect a regression in the coming season. Which suits me just fine :-)

EDIT 2: Heatley refuses to be traded to Edmonton and will not waive the no-trade clause. in this instance. Marian Hossa, Jaromir Jagr, Dany Heatley; all sane enough to realise that although Edmonton isn't the end of the world, you can certainly see it from there...!

What He Said

You'd have to have been living in Siberia or somewhere to have not heard that Michael Jackson had died last Thursday. Wall-to-wall coverage duly followed on all my TV news channels. Far be it from me to sound curmudgeonly, but I'd have liked to have heard some other news as well. Here are some thoughts articulated by the Guardian's Charlie Brooker, in more humorous style than I can manage.

Darryl Sutter: Magician

It just goes to show what you miss out on sometimes when you have a bit of a lie in on a Saturday morning.

Last evening was the NHL entry draft, in which the 30 NHL sides pick from the best available players wanting to enter the NHL. The teams with the poorest records in the season just gone pick first: the New York Islanders, once a powerhouse team in the 1970s but recently fallen on hard times picked the Ontario Hockey League's record goalscorer John Tavares. The top three players in the draft were all roughly equally talented and it was interesting to see who the Islanders picked. Had they picked either Victor Hedman or Matt Duchene, then a whole domino effect of trades could have been triggered, but as it was they took the star goalscoring forward. The Pittsburgh Penguins, a team in the same position five years ago, but now the Stanley Cup champions, due to a stream of high picks in Marc-Andre Fleury, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin an Jordan Staal, picked last. Calgary had the 20th pick in the first round, but general manager Darryl Sutter swapped with New Jersey for the 23rd pick, plus a pick in the third.

The Flames got the man they wanted, Swedish defenceman Tim Erixon (who they figured would go in the top 15, so they were pleased to get him at 23rd), plus a bonus pick for free. That concluded the evening last night at an interminable 4 hours, and bedtime soon followed. Rounds two to seven of the draft were this morning, and when I logged on to Calgary Puck this morning I found it lit up like a Christmas tree. The reason? The Flames traded their freebie pick to the Florida Panthers, in addition to the rights to negotiate with free agent rental player Jordan Leopold, for the rights to negotiate with defenceman Jay Bouwmeester; arguably the biggest catch in the free agent market this summer. Florida have been trying to trade away his rights to get something back before he walked for nothing for some time, but the rumour on the draft room floor in Montreal was that he wouldn't move before July 1st when he can field several offers.

So it is that the Flames can now negotiate exclusively with him till Wednesday, when he can then speak to other teams. This has already prompted sniping from Edmonton and Vancouver (where else?) that Calgary cannot possibly fit him into the salary cap for next season. Sutter's answer? To immediately trade the grossly overpaid Jim Vandermeer ($2.3m a year for a third pairing defenceman is 3-4 times what he's worth) to the Phoenix Coyotes in exchange for Brandon Prust (who was traded to Phoenix in the deal that brought Olli Jokinen to Calgary) on a salary of. $0.5m a year, so clearing up $1.8m a year on the salary cap at a stroke. (as an aside, it's hardly beneficial to the Coyotes finances to take that contract on, but the NHL has made it's own bed and must now lie in it)

If Sutter can succesfully tie Bouwmeester down - his girlfriend is a nurse in Calgary and he's building a house here, so it looks good on that front - having effectively given nothing up, he's nothing short of a genius. Contrast his under-the-radar style to the incessant stream of hot air that is Brian Burke from Toronto who talks a good game but cannot walk the walk (at least in Toronto, anyway). His being on a microphone last night just shouted out "look at me, look at me!" which I found equally amusing and a bit sad. 42 years and counting for the Maple Leafs; it might yet be a few more.

There is more cap room than people think. If Cammalleri ($3.35m a year, and wanting far more in free agency), Bertuzzi ($1.95m a year, 1 good game in 5) and Aucoin ($4m a year, overpaid and turning circle of an oil tanker) are all not renewed, there is now $11.1m of salary cap space available. For sake of argument, if Bouwmeester signs a long term deal at $6.5m a year, there is now $4.6m to fill out the roster and sign up the younger free agents to improved deals. A couple of players might get promoted to higher forward lines - a slight decrease in goals might come of this, but hopefully the new defence-first attitude of new coach Brent Sutter offsets this - then the 2009-10 Flames could look like this (with salary in brackets, and resigned free agents in red):

Forwards
Bourque (1.35) - Langkow (4.5) - Iginla (7.0)
Backlund (1.271) - Jokinen (5.25) - Moss (1.3)
Glencross (1.2)- Conroy (1.05) - Boyd (1.0)
Nystrom (0.688)- Peters(0.6) -Prust (0.5)
Van Der Gulik/Greentree/Lundmark (ca. 0.5 each, only one player called up at any one time)
(26.209 total)

Defence
Bouwmeester (6.5) - Regehr (4.02)
Phaneuf (6.5) - Sarich (3.6)
Giordano (0.892) - Pardy (0.9)
Pelech (0.85)
(total 23.262)

Goalies
Kiprusoff (5.833), McElhinney (0.535)
(6.368 total)

Total salary: $55.839 million, salary cap for 09-10 = $56.8 million. It's quite close to the cap, but to free up a bit more room, on the back of an indifferent year, Daymond Langkow could be traded. Olli Jokinen could then be moved to the first line and a couple more UFAs at 2m could be signed, thus letting Mikael Backlund develop a bit more in the WHL. When does the schedule come out again...?

Two Months

I booked my flights back to the UK for a two week summer break this evening. In stereotypical fashion I have spent about a week trying to find the cheapest carrier, but when there are really only three to choose from it makes life easier (unless you want to book via Continental Airlines and go Calgary-Houston-Newark-Manchester...!). Quite what posesses me to leave the reasonably guaranteed 25-35C and clear skies for two weeks in completely random weather is open to debate. As it is, an 8.30pm Friday take off time means I can take my suitcase to work, and then head straight to the airport at 5-ish. No going to Heathrow is also a massive plus.

I'm already trying to make plans re: visiting people. Hopefully there is a trip to sunny (ha!) Coventry to have more curries (and/or birthday parties), though there might have to be a careful choice of venue, given a recent spot of bother here. Maybe a trip to Ally's in Earlsdon again (or {or as well as} Gabriel's, mmmmmmmmmmmm). This visit will probably encompass a visit to the last lab I worked in; it would be a special treat to meet some of the new group members I have heard so much about this last nine months (if they haven't failed their first year PhD transfer by then). It is truly a shame (!) that I never got to work with them. Though I might have slashed my wrists by now had I done.

A visit to see other friends I missed at Christmas (who are arguably at least partially responsible for me ending up out here) would also be nice.....given the middle weekend of my trip is a bank holiday this could also be doable. It'll also be nice to see my nephew again and hold a conversation (of sorts) with him; he seems to lead everyone a merry dance. One downside is the football. Only one home game in the two weeks I am there, and this is the holiday weekend I'm likely to be travelling.

Two months today! Let's see if we can have a 'eureka moment' at work in the meantime.

[looks out of window and sees squadron of flying pigs on final approach to Calgary airport]

Time To Get The Thermal Socks Out

It's just been announced this evening on one of the various sports channels that there will be an outdoor hockey game played in Calgary on New Year's Day. Such events are becoming a bit of a fixture on the NHL calendar; the first in Edmonton in 2003, Buffalo in 2008, Chicago this year, in addition to the possible one in Calgary. Here's the scene in Buffalo for the Buffalo Sabres-Pittsburgh Penguins (boooo!) game, where 71,217 attended:

(image downloaded from flickr; see here for the original and more images)

Calgary is hosting the 2009 Grey Cup Final (the CFL version of the Superbowl) in late November, so there will doubtless be temporary seating at either end of McMahon Stadium, boosting the capacity to somewhere approaching 50,000, and so leaving it in place seems good sense. The capacity of the Saddledome is 19,200, so demand will surely be high - the more available seats the better. How good is it that my plans for this Christmas season involve staying this side of the pond?!

Just one consideration; the weather. It could be -30C and brutal windchill., making it less than fun to sit and watch. It could equally be +10C if the Chinook is blowing that particular day which would make life difficult for the skaters. I'd better make sure the thermals are ready, just in case...

Stiff Upper Lips

Now and again, during the course of everyday life I'm occasionally prompted to remark to either to myself or the locals about how very British something is. Take last night, where I had to walk home from work in the regular-as-clockwork afternoon downpour in a pair of shorts and a polo shirt; the weather was warm and sunny when I set off that morning. No hiding inside or sheltering in a doorway for me. And no umbrella either.

Another instance that made me think this was something I was reading about on the internet this week. A labmate of mine was flying to Tokyo via Vancouver on Monday to attend an exchange visit in Japan for two months. Except, when she arrived at the airport in Calgary her flight had been cancelled due to a volcanic eruption in the Russian Kurile Islands (north of Japan). The eruption was emitting enough volcanic ash into the atmosphere to scupper trans-Pacific flight from the west coast of Canada. Presumably, this is because detours around the cloud were beyond the range of the aircraft on the route. A little research on wikipedia showed the diversion is necessary because volcanic ash is incredibly bad for jet engines, as originally found out by a British Airways flight in 1982.

BA flight 9 was on a London-Bombay-Madras-Singapore-Kuala Lumpur-Perth-Melbourne-Auckland routing, above an erupting Mt. Galunggung in Indonesia when they began to fly through a cloud which didn't appear on weather radar (weather radars on aircraft detect water, so volcanic ash being fine particles of stone didn't show). Within two minutes, two of the 4 engines on the plane failed, and in the rush to start the engine shutdown procedure, the next two failed simultaneously. The pilot quickly worked out he could glide for 25 minutes before (if the worst came) attempting to ditch in the sea. The passengers, understandably, got a bit agitated; and so the pilot made a public address:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get it under control. I trust you are not in too much distress."

Very British eh? A masterpiece in understatement. The tale has a happy ending; after gliding out of the cloud, the flight crew attempted the first (and currently only) re-start of engines at altitude, and managed to land in Jakarta on two engines. The aircraft windscreen was almost totally obscured by volcanic ash, leading the captain to remark on navigating his way to an airport entirely on instruments "a bit like trying negotiate one's way up a badgers arse".

Full story here.

Tasteful Metaphor of the Week

From the Guardian, tonight:

"Another engine breaks away from Gordon Brown's fuselage, and the damage done looks set to bring him crashing out of the sky. Even if he can judder on, the injury done will diminish him further. Which other engines may now break away too? Those who would bring him down say the prime minister is beyond repair. The party faces a terrible choice it can no longer avoid."

Classy! Let's not let the unexplained death of 228 people get in the way of a witty segue into the seemingly imminent political post-mortem of Gordon Brown. A very poor quality bit of judgement from my current regular source of UK print news. I gave up on the Independent due to one strident, pompous, hectoring front page too many; I refuse to buy the Times on the basis of who it's owned by and am not Tory enough to buy the Telegraph. I hope whichever subeditor allowed the above quote to pass into the comment section will get an appropriate shoeing in the near future.

Culinary Delights

I'm in Hamilton, Ontario on a 'business trip' to give a project update to my industrial supervisors, who are both, in addition to my boss, attending the 92nd Canadian Society for Chemistry's annual convention. Given all three of them were here, my having to attend was pretty much a given. I've spent the last day and a half watching chemistry presentations from the great and good of the Canadian scene, and tomorrow I give my update.

It's been an odd sort of a trip. Up at 4:50 on Sunday morning to get a 5:30 taxi to be at the airport before 6 am. To then spend 3-and-a-bit hours on a plane that wants to charge you for the in flight TV (and anything more than a bag of peanuts), to then have an extremely bumpy and turbulent landing. Followed by a taxi driver determined to eke out every last cent on the trip from the airport to the hotel. Ah, the hotel. If I've stayed in a dodgier part of any town I can't remember it. Last night, I went one block out of the hotel before deciding to go back inside. Bear in mind I've been through the Harlem area of New York City and some iffy parts of Chicago, (and Calgary, I suppose) this is quite something. What an excellent place to put a 1200 bed hotel and a convention centre! The 'beers of the world' pub next door looks like it hasn't been open for 20 years, but is a tourist must see, apparently. Bates' Motel is a more enticing venue.

The hotel is hilarious; none of the lifts work properly, meaning if you want to go upstairs or downstairs, you must take the staff elevator which stops at every floor. This morning, people were so fed up of waiting (including a very prodigiously rude, though sadly unidentifiable frenchman) they went down the fire escape setting off alarms as they went through various doors, only to then to have to bang on the only-opening-one-way-doors of the convention centre to be let in. A final touch; the drunken yahoos who are in a room three doors down and career up and down the hallway at 4am are nespecially nice. They are quiet now, so no shopping them to the front desk, now I know which room they are in. One unnamed professor from UBC is less than impressed with them.

The chemistry talks yesterday were very meh, but were much better today. But the room allocation is nuts; top American professors with worldwide reputations have to give talks in poky little rooms which are horribly hot because they are so full, and ones in which more people are standing than sitting. Other sessions in enormous rooms draw barely 50 people while having the air conditioning on so high people have to put on layers to sit in comfort.......to then scoot next door to see the next talk they want to see in a stifling room with nowhere to sit! One person I know calls this the worst organised CSC he's ever seen.

At lunchtime, I went to grab something to eat in the food court of the shopping mall opposite the convention centre (and on top of which the hotel stands). It was like being in the Kirkgate centre in Bradford. This is not a good thing. The city seems generally to have seen better days. It's a port city on Lake Ontario, and so I presume the port traffic and the steelworks are much quieter than they have been in past years.

This evening, I've spread the wings a bit and visited a pub a little further out of the city centre with a couple of people I know through mutual friends. Being the displaced Brit, we decided on an English style pub, and so we came to "The Winking Judge". It was awesome in it's old fashioned English-pub-ness, but can I say the fish and chips in there is the best I have had in 15 months in the Great White North by a country mile. Or several. Just awesome. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I can't adequately explain how good it was to have something approaching the real thing. So if you're ever in Hamilton, here you are. Awesomeness. Squared.

MPs

I was surprised, but in a way also not surprised, to see that the latest MP's expenses scandal back home has made the news all the way out here. I have meant to write, repeatedly, a blog post in praise of the powers of the internet, and how it has manifested itself in the powers that be not being able to have their own way with the media any more. I read occasionally the blog 'Order Order', the so called Guido Fawkes Blog which is in effect, one man with a laptop with sources in high places. His politics seem quite conservative, but we all have our crosses to bear, after all.

The author of the blog has been writing for some months on 'pigs in the trough'. and the rather generous expense claims that members of Parliament have been submitting. of late Eventually, some of the national media outlets have picked up on it, culminating in the Daily Telegraph's expose of politicians of all sides really gettting it in the neck this week. Without wanting to go too Daily Mail on you, I find it bordering on obscene that the Education Secretary and his wife, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, (combined salary ca. £282,000) claim £600 a month in food expenses. Can they not afford it? Even by Waitrose standards (and take it from bitter personal experience, the one in Gloucester Road in London is eye-wateringly expensive), that's probably a bit pricey. I reckon my food bill is about 1/6 of that. Even including into that the effects of living in London Village, that's a real fiddle.

Add into that (from other suspects) claims for horse manure, cleaning out castle moats, bookcases costing £18,000, antique persian rugs, TVs worth £8800, two (at least) counts of claiming mortgage expenses for mortgages long paid off, several MPs suspended from their positions, multiple counts of 'second house flipping' and it seems that the public mood with their elected officials is at possibly the lowest ebb in living memory. The solution? As it is out here ,north of the 49th parallel. Publish every single expense claim on the internet, where the voting public can see and scrutinise. The internet is a force for good sometimes, and I think the british government should follow suit.

Long Weekend

So here I am on a long weekend. It would be nice if I could spend this time relaxing, or perhaps doing something sporting. As it is, I'm attending a discussion group in inorganic chemistry (by professorial edict) among the universities of Alberta and British Columbia at the University of British Columbia - Okanagan in Kelowna, BC. It's nice to be out and about, though having to drive nearly 400 miles means today has been a long one. Please excuse any spelling mistakes you may find to the bottles of Alexander Keith I am currently consuming.

The scenery on the way here has been stunning. Calgary-Canmore-Banff-Lake Louise on the Trans Canada highway is scenic enough, but that's barely 2 hours drive. Adding another five more hours of the same sort of thing makes for enough of a distraction to ignore the really sore back you get for sitting rigidly upright for that length of time. It was never a dull trip. A dark blue SUV (no saving the planet on our watch) with five people in means we can pass the time in good humour, and observe several mentalist drivers engaging in crazy overtaking acts on mountain passes. We even listened to a whole Coldplay album without committing mass hara-kiri.

Accommodations are splendid (photos to follow when I have my camera-to-computer cable to hand back in Cowtown), $45 per person per night puts to shame several other conference accommodations I have slept in (yes, University of York, with your scalding showers and bathrooms opening into kitchens, I looking at you) and the campus is also pretty nice. We've had a brief trip into Kelowna itself to do some food shopping (and a visit to Liquor Depot....) and it seems a pretty nice place. It's one of the most expensive places to live in all of Canada. The Okanagan valley takes its name from the eponymous lake, and is green and fertile. Driving through the northern part in particular reminded me very much of the English countryside. lots of livestock farming. The southern parts of the valley are renowned for their vineyards and wineries due to the temperate (by Canadian standards) climate. Is there any coincidence this is where 100+ chemists are gathered? I think you know the answer to that.....

Wow. Just, wow

Not often am I lost for words. I'm going to let Representative Michele Bachmann (Republican, Minnesota) have her two minutes of fame on here. If you followed the US Elections last November, she was the person who suggested that journalists who didn't present the Republican point of view should be branded 'un-American'. Enjoy these pearls of wisdom, on Earth day, of all days.



I can't think which is worse: that she wrote this herself, or that someone else wrote it and she accepted it at face value. Be very afraid that such an empty headed loon can be a cog in the gears of the government of the most powerful nation on Earth. Be very very afraid.

North American Words

An occasional series I think; devoted to words that I'd never hear back home. In some ways, the language here in Canada is much closer to the Queen's English than it is American than I thought it would be. So, for starters:

asinine

adjective

1) foolish, unintelligent, or silly; stupid: It is surprising that supposedly intelligent people can make such asinine statements.

2) of or like an ass: asinine obstinacy; asinine features.

Tinkering

I've made my first foray into the nefarious world of editing HTML tonight, in an attempt to make the blog entry column wider. While this has worked, the images for the nice rounded corners are for a column of specific width. This has ultimately meant a total width to the blog of 980 pixels, which might be pushing the screen resolution of some older monitors. Can you all read it out there (all five of you, or whatever it is)? Or shall I go back to the old version?

Beating the Locals

So given today was the end of the hockey season, how did I finish in the pool? In the money! Thanks to my guru, who guided me through the various players on offer largely successfully (we'll ignore Montreal players in the future), I have finished third, and stand to make about $50. Not a lot, but enough to plot how to spend it. For posterity, here's the top of the table and my final team scores. In a final, grand splash, you'll see from the far right column that I managed to score zero points at all today! Finishing ahead of 32 other teams is quite funny when you think they are probably mostly locals. Beaten at their own game.....

NHL Playoffs

Today is the last day of the regular season in the NHL before the playoffs begin on Wednesday evening. As I write this, the last couple of issues to be resolved are sorting themselves out. It wouldn't be a blog of mine without hopeless sporting predictions littering the place, so here we go. For the non hockey fans, the top eight teams in each conference play each other in best-of-7 contests for the right to progress to the next round. Ultimately the winner of each conference contests the Stanley Cup final in late May/early June. Living out west means I see relatively little of the Eastern conference, so I think there is more room for spectacular error.

Eastern Conference:

Boston Bruins (1) vs Montreal Canadiens (8)

Boston have led the conference from virtually day one. This is a rematch of the same series at the same stage last season, in which, oddly, the seedings were reversed. This is I think indicative of the season Montreal have had; powerplay has struggled, Carey Price in goal has struggled (and will probably sit in favour of Jaroslav Halak), and the late-season firing of coach Guy Carbonneau has had only marginal positive effect. Nevertheless, the biggest arena in the NHL and 21,000 screaming Quebecois means Montreal is a tough place to play. And these teams hate each other, so possibly fights galore. Verdict: Boston in 6.

Washington Capitals (2) vs New York Rangers (7)

Critics of Washington generally cite the fact they play in a weak division for their high attacking stats. There may be some truth to this (who would't fancy playing Atlanta, Tampa, and to a lesser extent Florida 6 times a season), but who would argue that a top forward line of Ovechkin - Backstrom - Semin isn't a really dangerous one? Add defenceman Mike Green (73 points in 68 games is a record most top line forwards would be happy with) on the powerplay and they are a formidable attacking force. New York started like a train, but spluttered to such a degree that coach Tom Renney was fired mid season in favour of John Tortorella, winner in 2004 with Tampa (booo!). They have improved, but not enough to win the series. Verdict: Washington in 6.

New Jersey Devils (3) vs Carolina Hurricanes (6)

The Devils went on a tremendous run starting at about Christmas, and ran away with the Atlantic division. Zach Parise and Patrik Elias have filled their boots in the run. With hall-of-fame goalie Martin Brodeur, they'll be very hard to beat. Carolina came from seemingly nowhere midseason with the sacking of Pete Laviolette and the hiring of 2006-winning coach Paul Maurice to score goals for fun in a 14-3-2 tear down the stretch. Nevertheless, I think NJ are a much stronger side. Verdict: New Jersey in 5.

Pittsburgh Penguins (4) vs Philadelphia Flyers (5)

Last year's finalists Pittsburgh were in danger of not qualifying for the post season at all in early March. The firing of Michel Therrien seems to have had the desired effect; since late February they are 16-2-3. The trade-deadline acquisitions of Kunitz and Guerin meant Sidney Crosby actually has proper wingers to play with. Consider Art Ross trophy-winning Evgeni Malkin in addition and a fit Sergei Gonchar on the powerplay (19 points in 26 games), and they look set for another deep run. This is a rematch of last season's conference final, and I don't think the outcome will be any different Verdict: Pittsburgh in 5.

Western Conference:

San Jose Sharks (1) vs Anaheim Ducks (8)

A case of the irresistable force meets the immovable object? The Sharks' 53-18-11 record was the best in the league; goals come from all over the team, and they have a top goalie in Evgeni Nabokov. The Ducks won the Cup in 2007 based on miserly defence, and both Niedermayer and Pronger remain on the blue line. The Ducks were another team in danger of not qualifying at the trade deadline, but improved drastically down the stretch. With the Ryan-Getzlaf-Perry line and Selanne on the powerplay they will always score goals, but will their shaky goaltending and ageing defence still be up to the job. The Sharks have flattered to deceive for many years in the playofs, and I think this one might go the distance. Verdict: Sharks in 7.

Detroit Red Wings (2) vs Columbus Blue Jackets (7)

Reigning champions Detroit finished only marginally behind San Jose in the standings and still remain a tough proposition. With Hossa, Datsyuk, Zetterberg and Franzen on the top lines, goals aren't a problem and any defence that contains Nicklas Lidstrom is difficult to beat. Only one chink in the armour, and that's their horrible goaltending. Both Chris Osgood and Ty Conklin have not, to be frank, covered themselves in glory this season and could derail the team. Compare this to Columbus, who's rookie goalie Steve Mason has appeared from nowhere and carried his team to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. With star forward Rick Nash, they could prolong the series, but I think, ultimately Detroit may just have too much firepower. Verdict: Detroit in 5/6.

Vancouver Canucks (3) vs St. Louis Blues (6)

The Canucks pipped the Flames to the Northwest division title by a single point in the end. Fair's fair: their record of 24-7-2 from February 1st onwards is phenomenal and they eventually overhauled a hobbled-by-injuries-and-salary-cap Calgary (once 13 points clear!!) decisively last Tuesday. With Roberto Luongo between the pipes, goals against should be low and they have a miserly defence. Goals have come from all over the team; the Sedin twins have been on fire down the stretch, and Burrows and Kesler have had career years. Can they carry it on in the postseason? Mats Sundin has been, relatively speaking, a bit of a bust (9G, 19A, -5 rating in 41 games) and will need to step things up. St Louis are the cinderella team in this years playoffs. They were dead last in the new year, and have had terrible injury problems. As the team regained some of the injured players, results have improved and a scary powerplay carried them over the line in the last week. They are unheralded, and have few 'name' players; can they carry on? Verdict: Vancouver in 6.

Chicago Blackhawks (4) vs Calgary Flames (5)

Which team is the real Calgary Flames? The one that went 30-11-5 between November and February, or the one which limped out the blocks and hobbled over the line? To be fair, the team has been crippled by injuries in the last 6 weeks and last night was missing Bourque, Phaneuf, Regehr, Sarich, Giordano, Roy and Glencross. The salary cap meant that no players could be called up to replace them, resulting in the Flames being the first NHL team to win a game with only 15 skaters for >20 years last night. Hopefully, some of the injured are back for Thursday. Sadly, it appears Regehr and Sarich are long term absentees and may only play in later rounds, should the Flames even get there. Plus points from the dismal last week are the return to form of Cammalleri, and the performance of rookie defencemen Adam Pardy, Matt Pelech and John Negrin. A big huge negative is the Flames powerplay, now 0-43 in ten (TEN!) games. But what of the opposition? Chicago are brimming full of young, skilful, fast-skating talent, and won all 4 games against Calgary this year. Add to that goalie Nikolai Khabibulin's 22-5-2 lifetime record against Calgary - including the 2004 Stanley Cup Final for Tampa - and it's a troubling matchup. More seasoned watchers than I liken this year's Chicago team to the Pittsburgh team of 2007; similarly talented but very playoff inexperienced, and ultimately knocked out in the first round by Ottawa. I hope this is a good analogy. Verdict: in a way hard, since I have no idea who is fit from a Calgary point of view, and who will be called up from the farm team. There are even rumours that Rhett Warrener (out all season on LTIR) and Anders Erikkson (in the AHL all season for being, er, useless) could be called up. So my head says Chicago in 6, but given last night's glimmer of hope, I'll say my heart says Calgary in 7. And that I probably shouldn't listen to it.

More Footballing Thoughts

So as I mentioned before, yesterday was a day off. It didn't begin in the most cheering fashion given the mighty BCFC suffered yet another defeat. Listening in from 4,500 miles away, it's difficult sometimes to get a real picture of what has happened, particularly at away games where I have no spies. Yesterday, Bradford went 1-0 up having played pretty well, had a second called off in the second half (when even the opposition players say the ball went it it's a good indication; all the linesman said was "I hope I got it right". You hope?). Almost immediately afterwards, a goal against. Followed by zero response, followed by going behind. And still no response. That's 8 points from the last 33. Having spent the whole of the first half of the season in the top 3, they now lie 9th, and would be 11th but for Darlington and Rotherham's points deductions. The last manager, Colin Todd, was run out of town for such a sequence of results.

Stuart McCall came in as manager after the subsequent relegation to the footballing dungeon. He said that he wanted (and I paraphrase) "a young, hungry, passionate team that plays good football". Yet most of the players brought in have been, generally speaking, thirty somethings in the autumns of their careers. I often wonder if they see the club as one last pay day before retirement, and so are unable to raise themselves for trips to (with respect) Dagenham, Morecambe, Barnet, Macclesfield and so on. Looking around at the teams that are doing well in the table: Brentford, Rochdale, Exeter; all teams with a core of youngsters with a smattering of older, experienced heads. The same could be said of Stockport and Peterborough last season. Teams with the dynamism and energy of youth. Look at Bradford themselves...the best three players this season have been Luke O'Brien (19 when the season began), and loanees Nicky Law (20) and Dean Furman (20). Is there any coincidence that a relatively older team, compared to most other sides in the league, struggles and concedes so so many late goals?

The thing I don't understand is that the formative footballing experience of Stuart McCall's career - the 1984-85 Third Division title - was built on the blueprint that the current top three in the division are following. Look back at that side, and the overall impression was one of youth. The team varied little from week to week: McCall was 20 when the season began. John Hendrie was 20, Greg Abbott 20, Chris Withe 21, Mark Ellis 22, Peter Jackson 23. Don Goodman was breaking into the side aged 18. Older heads such as keeper Eric McManus (34), defender Dave Evans (26) and strikers Bobby Campbell (31) and John Hawley (34) provided the experience. In addition, most of the young players had been rejected by clubs much higher up the leagues; McCall in trials for Leeds for being too small, Hendrie and Abbott from Coventry, Jackson by Burnley, Withe by Newcastle. Players with points to prove to the world. Ellis, Jackson and Goodman were local lads, desperate to represent their 'own' side.

I think the fans would be altogether more patient with the side right now if they could see that the mistakes being made by the team were ones of inexperience and youth, rather than seasoned professionals who should know better by now. I think McCall would have been cut a bit more slack by a small section of the support that is vociferously demanding his head if fans could see he was trying to build something for the medium to long term, rathering than culling large numbers of the squad each season and replacing them with more thirty-somethings. I also think we'd see more '90 minute performances' with a much younger, fitter team. We could actually press the other team in the midfield for a change....

Fun Ways to Spend a Public Holiday

Given it's Easter time, yesterday was a public holiday (though Monday is not, or at least not for me). It was 17C, feeling warm, and clear blue skies. A lovely day for being out and about? Absolutely. But not for me. I had the fun task - put off for a couple of weeks - of filling in my tax return, due at the end of the month. I can't ever recall doing one in the UK, but you're never too old to try exciting new experiences. So after having spent a couple of hours reading the 60 page guide booklet, here's what my (broken) coffee table looked like yesterday afternoon:

Yes, for someone who has only been in the country for 13 months, and has only two sources of income (my salary and interest on my savings account), I need nine pages! I'm glad that I've not decided to claim various items as tax-deductable given seemingly every claim needs another two-page form to fill in. So after a couple of hours of checking, subtracting and pro-rating, I owe the CRA less than I thought I did; a cock-up in payroll meant my tax for last May wasn't deducted at source and I needed to work out how much I owe. The final result came as a pleasant surprise; I owe nearly $150 less than I thought. Less tax to pay = more fun things!

Champions League

There's been a complete lack of discussion about the beautiful game here over the last few months. I'm currently watching a re-run of today's 3-1 Chelsea win at Liverpool in the Champions League; the ESPN commentary is terrible as per usual. But the chant from the away end has just amused me greatly. Now as some of you know, I am of a very unfavourable disposition to Chelsea, and had to generally bite my tongue seeing thousands of the blue hordes in London Village. The site of the Jolly Malteser (or whatever it was called) bursting at the seams with tattooed cock-er-nee wideboy types resplendent in ill-fitting blue nylon was never good for the blood pressure. But sometimes sporting karma catches up with people and so the denouement of last year's CL final I found hilarious. But hats off to them, just this once (and only once), for belting out, as the ground is silent:

"where's your famous atmosphere?"

Maybe I'm just amused by small things. Manchester United struggled last night it seems; they weren't very good last Sunday either, needing a last minute goal by a 17 year old to scrape out an ill-deserved win. I still think they need a proper centre-forward, and Berbatov hasn't come close to filling the role. Liverpool were very poor tonight/yesterday (depending on your timezone); the rest of the top sides must be licking their lips at Benitez's contract extension. One FA Cup and an outrageously fortuitous Champions' League win in 2005 is hardly a good return for the amount of money he has spent/squandered.

You might argue with the likes of Biscan, Traore, Smicer, Dudek, Josemi, Nunez and Luis Garcia in the squad that night they'd come quite near the top in the "worst team to ever be European Champions" title. Benitez is too negative; always one striker, two very defensive central midfielders and at least one square peg in a round hole (hello Dirk Kuyt!). All very well for beating mid table sides, but not a recipe for a title win. As they chant in American elections, "FOUR MORE YEARS!"

Barcelona look like the team to beat this year. Six points clear of the pack in Spain and a complete annihilation of Bayern Munich this evening, in which a 4-0 home win was apparently hugely flattering to Bayern. With Messi, Henry and Eto'o banging the goals in, who can stop them?

Falling Over the Finish Line

Tonights sporting happenings, by the numbers:

• Shots on target: 47-25 Calgary.
• Score: 4-1 Vancouver.
• Calgary powerplay: 0-39 in 7 games.
• FOUR blown 5-on-3's in 2 games.
• Calgary record in second night of back-to-back games: 2-10-1.
• Number of seconds between Calgary equaliser and bone-headed clusterf**k by Phaneuf coasting behind his own net to present possession back to Vancouver to score: 22.
• Number of posts on tonight's Calgary Puck game thread: 1,223.
• Number of posts in said thread calling for the head of the coaching staff (and specifcally the PP coach): about 300 of them.
• Number of posts in said thread cursing errant finishing/hitting the post/Luongo standing on his head: about 600.
• First star: Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo. He is in the Flames heads without doubt.

A flattering scoreline, to be sure. This was an excellent performace 5-on-5. But until something is done about the Flames apocalyptically bad powerplay, they can dominate games for 50 minutes all they like; the inability to put teams away when well on top means there will not be the desired end result. And do they practice this powerplay? Answers need only be two letters long....

This Is Not a Late April Fool

Colorado Avalanche 4 - 1 Vancouver Canucks

bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!

It seems neither Vancouver nor Calgary want to tie up the Northwestern Division of the NHL. Here we are in the six days of the regular season; I'm sat listening to NHL.com with the beautiful silence of GM Place and a distinct lack of Canucks colour commentator Tom Larscheid spouting his usual biased drivel. After a defensive horror-show in their 5-3 defeat in Edmonton last evening, what could be better than a home game against a Colorado side that had lost 8 in a row before tonight? A Colorado team thought to be deliberately tanking to try and get the #1 draft pick in June. Except the evening isn't going to plan.

A Flames win tomorrow against the LA Kings could mean that the Flames could clinch the division in Vancouver on Tuesday. How good would that be? Really very good. But the way the Flames are playing right now I won't make any predictions; they missed three of their top 5 defencemen in a hideous 4-0 defeat in Minnesota on Friday. Once again it wasn't the stand in players to blame, but the complete no-show of the established stars. None more so than Miikka Kiprusoff who probably couldn't stop a beach ball on Friday. He looks shattered, having played 70+ games. Hopefully he gets rested tomorrow to keep him fresh for Tuesday...